Woman To Woman by Kathy Thomas

Look For The Best If You Meet The Worst!

One of my greatest pet peeves is being around angry people. Or people who are sarcastic and condescending. It’s like standing at attention with your shield up, ready to deflect any hurting remarks before they can travel to your heart and wound you. It’s strange to think of this during this month because I just love April. The air is usually warm and the blossoms bring the sweet perfume of new flowers growing. Easter is here as I scurry around buying Easter trinkets to send to our children and grandchildren. Even though our six children are all grown up they love to get these silly Easter surprises.

I love to celebrate the Lord’s resurrection and walk into church seeing it filled with flowers. I remember as a little girl growing up in Tucson how excited I was to go to church on Easter morning. The purple altar cloths that had been draped over the altar were gone. It looked like a gallon of sunshine had been poured upon the altar and everything looked so fresh and new.

Why do some people radiate such sunshine in their personalities no matter how much sorrow they walk through while others wrap themselves in the purple altar cloths of sorrow and let you know it whenever you see them. I confess I am a reformed perfectionist. It’s a hard job trying to be perfect. It not only wears me down but everyone around me. In truth trying to do everything just right is not so different from lashing out with sarcasm or anger. In a wonderful new book, “The End of Rejection,” by Chris Hayward, he explains that both perfectionism and anger and criticism spring from rejection.

How interesting that I am a bed partner with the same trait I despise. Hayward offers hope for healing the rejection in our lives. Rejection is not something you wish away, he explains. Only God can remove it. He walks the reader through deep penetration of the soul and prayers that can help break the rejection cycle.

There is a story in Daily Guideposts about a young boy who was adopted when he was eight. Social services warned the parents that this young boy came loaded down with psychological baggage. But in one of those mental suitcases was their son’s ability to always see the good in people. Author Tim Williams describes how his son Ted saw the good in some neighbors who owned guns, dogs and not much else.

Tim was tired of chasing away the dogs from their home. Two of them finally tore apart their son’s rabbit cage and killed one of Ted’s treasured rabbits. But Ted surprised his parents. He was heartbroken but not angry. He went over to see the neighbors and came back and reassured his dad that the neighbors felt really bad. “As soon as they get some money they are going to pay me for my rabbit,” he said.

The neighbors moved away abruptly the following month. Again young Ted said, “Don’t worry. “I gave them my address before they left.”

His father was really angry and replied, “People who spend all their money on cigarettes, beer and guns don’t set aside money to honor a debt.” Ted just looked at his dad. He kept looking at the good in others. Several months later a letter arrived. A letter and forty dollars to honor a debt. If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat..In doing this you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you. (Proverbs 25:21-22)

Ted looked for the good and found it. His dad, Tim, had coals doused on his head when that letter arrived. If others can forgive me for being a reformed perfectionist who still stumbles so often, how can I not heap coals of love and kindness on those turkeys who get my goat when they lash out with stinging remarks. After all rejection walks in may styles and colors. This month gals let’s pray against all the rejection we’ve ever suffered and enjoy the springtime and the happiness of knowing we have eternal life if we open our hearts to Jesus. He wants us to live and enjoy life, not just walking around with our heads touching our toes, waiting till he calls us home to heaven. Let’s laugh and love and try heaping some love on those who need love. Isn’t this a gorgeous month...

I love you,

Kathy

Kathy Thomas is the director of Woman to Woman Ministries of Tucson, dedicated to the encouragement and healing of women, which airs a weekly radio program on KGMS 940 AM every Sat. at 2 pm. and on cable television Wed. at 3 p.m. on channels 72 and 97 and Fri.at 5 p.m. on channels 73 and 98. email Kathy at hooperandhonker@msn.com.