|
|
| l Read GNT l Find GNT l Home Delivery l Advertise l Contests l Neat Stuff l About Us l Contact Us l | |
ask renewal
Does Emotional Anger Create Physical Harm?
Q. How does anger contribute to physical well-being? My husband is angry all the time; I tell him that it's hurting him physically. Is this true?
A. Anger is a strong emotion that can affect your physical well being as well as your psychological well-being in numerous ways.
When you respond to your husband by telling him that his anger is hurting him physically, you are absolutely correct. Much research has been conducted and supports your response to your husband.
Anger may contribute to physical well-being in numerous ways. We will cover a few of the side effects of anger on one's physical well-being as well as one's psychological well-being.
When angry, most people desire to hurt someone they feel has wronged them, insulted them or hurt them. If they suppress or deny the natural reaction of feeling anger, the feeling of anger can simmer and wreak havoc with their psychological and physical well being. If they act out their anger through outbursts of temper and rage, it may disturb their physical well-being.
Because of anger, you may experience chest pains, upset stomach, heart palpitations, difficulty in breathing, dizziness, high blood pressure, and other health problems.
Changes in behavior may also occur such as raising the voice, increased activity level (for example, pacing the floor, or clenching the fists, deliberate tensing of some muscles), verbal anger - shown by shouting or threatening with words, physical anger - shown, for example, by slamming doors, throwing things, hitting somebody, withdrawal - refusing to try to get along with, or have any contact with the other person, and last but not least clamming up - a temporary inability or unwillingness to speak. If your husband displays any of the above symptoms when he displays his outbursts of anger, it would greatly benefit him to find ways to effectively control his anger.
The list above might seem to be a bit extensive, but all is not loss, below are a few tips that should help your husband limit/reduce his reaction to anger.
First try and help your husband to find suitable ways of relaxing. The two of you may want to research and check out ways of reducing stress. Your husband may even consider attending an anger management workshop or seeing a counselor. In a workshop or in counseling, you can learn what anger is and is not, how and where you developed your attitudes and beliefs about anger and how to be more aware of your anger triggers.
Sandra King, Counselor
Q. People say I'm co-dependant because I'm always helping others… I thought helping others was a good quality. I'm confused.
A. We praise and honor those who go out of their way for others to the point of sacrificing themselves. We call them "heroes". However, in co-dependence the outcome is not so positive.
Co-dependence occurs when someone gets into the habit of helping another to the detriment of both parties. We often see this where one of the individuals is involved in substance abuse, but it also happens in families when parents have not encouraged their child's growth towards healthy independence. Co-dependence is the kind of loving that keeps the receiver stuck in a low functioning state. The giver gives until he or she is utterly exhausted physically, emotionally and even financially. Have you noticed that you are so worn out and resentful that you withdraw socially in order to recharge yourself? Are you giving so much that you're currently in debt? Are the receivers appreciative or do they feel entitled to your gifts or services? Does your help enable the receiver to continue a bad habit? Are you providing help that they are capable of doing for themselves at their age and stage of development? If you're answering "Yes" to these questions then I would agree that you're in danger of being helpful in a harmful way. Remember, "co-dependence" as we currently use the word, hurts both the receiver and the giver over the long haul. If this describes you, I hope you will seriously consider professional counseling.
Cristina Simpson, LCSW
Renewal Centers is a non-profit, licensed Christian counseling agency providing affordable services to the Tucson community since 1985. A sliding fee scale is available.
© 2008 Good News Tucson™