Good News Tucson - A Family Values Magazine

FEEL IT OR FAKE IT?

"How do I mask my impatience/anger so I don't freak out on people?"

Masking emotions is phony, and most people see it from a mile away. The real question is, "How do I process my feelings so that I don't behave angrily or impatiently?"

Recently my own mother told me she used to be afraid of me! It was "the other Lisa" that she wanted to avoid at all cost. Now she says, "I can't remember the last time I saw her."

What's the difference? Emotional effectiveness - something we talk about at Lady Leaders. This is commonly referred to as the ability to monitor feelings and respond in a controlled manner.

Over the years, I have had many opportunities to put this idea into practice. As I started becoming aware of my feelings, I began to have a choice about what to do with them, or "how to process them."

In Ephesians 4:26, the Bible says, "don't sin by letting anger gain control over you" (New Living Translation). The Bible is not saying anger is wrong, rather we need to manage anger properly. Emotions are a gift from God. Denial or "faking" is not the right way to handle them. Lashing out in frustration can hurt others, and suppressing anger can lead to bitterness in our own lives. Instead, become deliberate about paying attention to what you feel and how to process it. It's then that we can control the outcome and not be controlled by feelings.

The next time you feel your emotions taking control, try these simple steps:

Ask yourself, why am I angry/impatient right now?

Accept the fact that the "thing" upsetting you is out of your control.

Give that thing back to the proper owner, God.

Choose your behavior.

At first, this may be difficult, but over time you will realize that overcoming your anger is a lot less stressful than fixing the mess you make when your emotions control you.

Lisa Lloyd is an inventor and entrepreneur (www.IcanInvent.com) who is known for her invention success nationally. More importantly, she is also a bible teacher and founder of Lady Leaders, a national organization for Christian working-women (www.LadyLeaders.org). Her rags-to-riches story has been her God given platform for sharing the practical lessons God has taught her with others. She lives in Tucson with her Husband and 3 children.