Karaline (left) in straight leg jeans, a chic-tee and pull-over jacket, Cally (front) sporting bermuda shorts and an oxford western button-up & Maggie (rear). Modest, comfortable, and yet still fashionable in clothing direct from their personal closets.

You see them everywhere. Fashion magazines that encourage our children to wear the latest trends, despite the lack of modesty that many ensembles represent.

As parents, we know that our children are drawn to these, and other teen fashions; plus face the added challenge of daily peer pressure.

We invited four local teens to speak frankly on fashion trends, and model from their personal wardrobe. Our result? An honest article that both teens, and parents, should read and discuss before the next back-to-school shopping trip.

Maggie, Karaline, Jeremy and Cally are into fashion. They love to look nice and they care about how they look, and they are ready to dispel the myths about what parents think their kids think about modesty.

Karaline (left) in cute tee with comfortable camo pants, Cally (right) straight leg jeans, cool sleeveless pheasant shirt with a short sleeve overcoat.

Although friends, these kids come from varying backgrounds. Cally and Maggie are sisters. Cally is a recent graduate from a local Christian school; Maggie will be a senior there this year. Karaline attended a public school and charter school before she graduated. Jeremy has been in public schools until this year – he will be attending the same school that Maggie attends.

I recently sat down with these Tucson teens to talk about modesty, and what I received was a lesson on fashion, insight into the teenage mind, and even a few laughs. As I asked questions, I discovered that these students are intentional about style:

“We try to be different, try to be ourselves,” said Karaline, 18. “We like to do our own thing.”

Maggie, 17, agreed. “I like to create my own style. I don’t like to follow the crowd.”

Since the teens obviously had some pretty good fashion sense, I decided to pose this question: What would happen if you woke up one morning and your parents had picked out your clothes – based on their taste, not yours.

Everyone at the table started laughing, but Cally was quick to respond. “My mom already wears what we wear! High heels, cute skirts, sun dresses.”

Jeremy, 17, the only male at the table, had a look of concern at this question. He wanted clarification on if he had to wear his parent’s clothes. “My mom or my dad? ‘Cause I don’t want to wear a dress!”

More giggles.

“My dad kinda knows how I am,” he said. “Ever since I was a little kid, I always liked dressing up, like an older guy, because I felt more manly. I kinda adapted – button-up shirts. But what I do is put a regular t-shirt over it with the collar out. It looks nice, semi-casual,” Jeremy said.

Looking around the table, each of them had obviously dressed for the appointment. The girls were wearing summery tops and styled hair. I wondered if their parents worry about what they wear.

Jeremy (rear), Karaline (middle) Cally (front) and Maggie (bottom) sporting comfortable and fashionable summer attire for Tucson -- simple chic tee’s and straight leg blue jeans.

“My parents do, a lot,” said Karaline. “My Mom’s like, ‘Are you sure that skirt’s long enough?’ I hear that almost every time I wear a skirt. My dad won’t let me out of the house! It depends on who I’m hanging out with and where I’m going.”

“As long as I’m covering enough skin and it’s appropriate for where I’m going,” added Cally.

But what if your mom said to you, no way, you’re not leaving the house like that, I asked. How do you deal with that? “I’ll fight for a little bit, but eventually give in,” laughed Cally. Karaline’s eyes got big as she said, “When they start threatening things, we give in!”

Who Pays The Bill?

I wondered where they were shopping, how much they were spending on clothes, and where the money is coming from.

“If it’s something I need, like for school, my mom will pay for it,” Maggie said. “But if it’s something that I want, I pay.”

Her sister, Cally, shared, “It really depends on where I shop. I save up my money and go shopping on trips. I’ll save up and buy a nice pair of sunglasses!”

Maggie likes to shop Kohl’s and Urban Outfitters. Another favorite is House of Dereon. “It’s Beyonce Knowles’ clothing line,” said Karaline. Still, Karaline says that she didn’t wear brands like Abercrombie & Fitch or Hollister until she moved to Tucson.

“I didn’t even know about them,” Karaline said. “I didn’t know about Coach. But peer pressure was a huge thing when I started high school here. I had a friend who would go through my closet and say, ‘You cannot wear that’ or ‘What is this – we need to go shopping!’ Then when she found something cute she’d say, ‘Oh, I’ll wear this.’ It was like Mean Girls, times ten! Name brands seem really important around here.”

Cally then turned the conversation to Jeremy and asked, “What about you, how much do you spend, Jeremy?”

Jeremy obviously knows how to stand his ground with this group of girls. He laughs right along with them, but he has his own opinions on fashion:

Maggie (left) uses chunky brown beaded necklace & faux pearl bracelet to accessorize this 3/4 length button up sweater over a lacy baby-doll shirt and bermuda shorts.

“The thing is, with girls and fashion, there are so many different kinds of shirts with things on them, so the price is going to go up,” he said. “With me personally, the only thing I really spend my money on for clothes is t-shirts. My mom hates how many different t-shirts I have. It’s a guy thing, I guess. There’s always sales for guys, for the things I like to get.”

Direct Thoughts On Modesty

Each of the teens felt strongly about sending the right message with the way they dress.

“I think that cleavage and too much exposure, when someone first meets you, they might think lower of you,” said Cally. “And if you’re showing too much, it’s the first thing guys look at, and they go the wrong direction in their minds. It’s obvious,” she said.

When I asked Maggie how she would handle dealing with friends who were dressed immodestly, she said, “I would probably lead by example. Not say too much about it, or try to shove it down their throat.”

Jeremy gives each of the girls something to think about during the discussion of imodesty. “Deep down inside every guy likes to see a girl that’s strong in herself,” he said. “A girl’s inner appearance is more important than her outer appearance. Be yourself.”

Jeremy gets smiles and nods of approval from all around the table. He sheepishly adds, “The good guys are the ones you never hear about.”

As the teens left, I realized that while I have some very definite ideas on how my children should dress, and what modesty means to me, so do these teens. They are aware of the culture around them, they embrace current trends, but they do not let it sway who they are inside or how they want others to see them.

Driving home with my own daughter, I secretly hoped for her that as she grows, she will have people like Cally, Karaline, Maggie and Jeremy as peer role models: students who are willing to hold onto the values instilled by their parents and be willing to take a stand for what they believe.

Click here for modesty tips for girls and more thoughts from our teen fashion models.

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