Maybe you’ve heard, “no way, Mom. I’d rather die than be caught wearing that outside of our house”; or “Come on, Dad. Please give me the money. I need those jeans. Everybody else is wearing them.”

Many teenagers I know believe that clothes make them. (Clearly advertising works!)

Dress is one of the strongest types of adolescent peer pressure and influence. One girl says, “Kids make fun of you when you’re different, like you’re not cool or you don’t wear the right kinds of clothes.”

Rarely will you meet a teenager brave and daring enough to be the first to try something new and different; many of these kids have already been ostracized (or were never a part of) the cool crowd; their radically different clothing style is their way of saying, “I’m different. I don’t belong. Leave me alone.”

Many parents have expressed frustration with their teenage daughters’ immodest clothing. Whether it’s form-fitting or skin-revealing, these clothes have become especially prevalent in recent years. Those parents who want their daughters to dress differently are further frustrated by the fact that it’s difficult to find more modest clothing in stores. But when you talk to kids about their choice of immodest and “sexy” dress, you quickly learn that their goal isn’t immodesty or looking sexy; it’s about wanting to appear older than they are, to be in style, and to be accepted by their peer group.

Responsible parents…must instill a sense of personal value and worth in teenagers that hinges on something other than their hairstyle or clothing brands. They must help them discern needs from wants—good stewardship and the health of our wallets depend on it. Still we can’t write off our kids’ concern with clothing and appearance, either. The pressure they feel is very real, and the price of peer rejection is too much for them to pay.

Excerpted from Walt Mueller, Youth Culture 101, Youth Specialties/Zondervan, 2007.

© 2008 Good News Tucson™

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