Good News Tucson - A Family Values Publication

Abuse Comes in Different Forms

If I were to ask you to picture “abuse”, what picture would come to your mind? I believe many people would have the picture of a husband or boyfriend physically abusing their wife or girlfriend. Perhaps a scene of domestic violence is envisioned.

Abuse, however, comes in different forms and is not limited to males abusing females. In addition to physical abuse, there is sexual, emotional, and mental abuse…all of which are extremely harmful. Abuse may occur between people of the opposite sex or same sex…adults with adults or adults with children…may be found in homes, the workplace, or social settings.

Emotional and mental abuse may be harder to identify. The emotional and mental abuser verbally assaults and tears down the character of the person with name calling and criticism, controls their lives, exerts power over, and instills fear in the victim. Words can hurt more and last longer than a slap in the face. Unfortunately, emotional and mental abuse often leads to physical and sexual abuse as well. It is not uncommon for a person to become abused in a combination of forms.

A victim often develops a pattern of abuse… they go from one abusive relationship to another. This pattern may start at a very early age. Below is a testimony of a client from Gospel Rescue Mission who has experienced a life of abuse. When I began her interview, I thought she would start by telling me of an abusive husband. I was taken aback when she said it began with an abusive mother.

“My mother was a prescription drug addict. She verbally, emotionally, and physically abused me as a child. I thought her mission in life was to break my life. She always put me down…yelled and screamed at me…nothing I did was good enough for her. She regularly used the paddle from the red ball toy to hit me in the face. I tried not to cry. She would hit me over and over until I gave in and cried. My heart and my throat lived in my stomach.

I started drinking alcohol when I was 13. I drank like a fish to ease my pain. At the same time, I became sexually active. I was 13 and the men were in their 20’s. I was looking for love and acceptance. I figured if I could take care of a man then he would love me and take care of me. When I got older I also used drugs for about 3 years to escape my reality.

One abusive relationship and marriage led to another. I didn’t even have time to heal from one and I went right into another. I was emotionally, mentally, physically and sexually abused by every man who came into my life. I made some bad choices. My major addiction became co-dependency and sex.

Believe it or not, I had a 4.0 in high school and was going to attend college. Needless to say, my life didn’t turn out the way I thought it would and now I’m here at the Mission trying to heal and learn to make better choices.”

If you have or are experiencing any form of abuse, I strongly encourage you to seek help. There are social service programs and counselors who can assist you. Please take positive action today as it may only get worse.

Roy E. Tullgren III serves as Director for Gospel Rescue Mission.
Find out how you can get involved and make a difference by calling: (520) 740-1501.